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Sexual confidence is not about being "good" in bed. It's not about having ripped abs or big boobs. And it doesn't come from having a lot of sex. While it can mean different things to different people, at its core sexual confidence is feeling comfortable in your body, knowing you deserve pleasure and being able to articulate what you enjoy — as well as listening to the needs of your sexual partner. Melbourne sexologist Kassandra Mourikis says people often think of it as a performance — in and outside the bedroom.
If you struggle with sexual confidence, or just want to understand a bit more about it, you're in the right place. Sexual confidence isn't something we have or don't have, explains Dr Chris Fox, a senior lecturer in sexology at the University of Sydney. Ms Mourikis says while anyone can be sexually confident, "it just takes some work". Knowing all bodies are "good bodies" and deserving of pleasure is a big part of increasing your confidence, Ms Mourikis says.
When people don't see their body type represented in mainstream media, it inhibits their ability to feel good about their own. Other things that hold us back from feeling sexually confident include being discouraged to be sexual and explore our bodies — whether that be by our parents, school or partners — and not being taught to communicate our sexual preferences or to set boundaries.
As well as feeling good about your body, there are other s of sexual confidence. You may feel more confident in some areas than others. A sexually confident person knows they're allowed to experience pleasure and joy, says Ms Mourikis. Dr Fox says "we don't have a shared language when it comes to sex", which is why we need to be good communicators and listeners. It's also respecting those desires, and acknowledging they may be different our own, says Ms Mourikis. Get our newsletter for the best of ABC Everyday each week.
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Print content Print with images and other media. Print text only. Print Cancel. Sexual confidence is fluid Sexual confidence isn't something we have or don't have, explains Dr Chris Fox, a senior lecturer in sexology at the University of Sydney. The year-old worries about how she looks when having sex with her husband. What sexual confidence looks like As well as feeling good about your body, there are other s of sexual confidence. Believing you deserve pleasure A sexually confident person knows they're allowed to experience pleasure and joy, says Ms Mourikis. Understanding and communicating your own sexual desires Knowing what you enjoy and being able to articulate it is a of sexual confidence.
Understanding and listening to the person you're with Sexual confidence is someone actively listening to the needs of their partner, explains Dr Fox. Setting and accepting boundaries A sexually confident person knows how to set boundaries and accept those of others. address. Posted 24 Apr 24 Apr Fri 24 Apr at am. Here's what coronavirus anxiety might be doing to your sex drive.
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