Added: Tabbitha Tyrrell - Date: 23.11.2021 17:58 - Views: 38762 - Clicks: 5694
After my son Eddie failed to deliver a glass of water in a timely manner last spring, his girlfriend assaulted him. Scratch marks were etched into the back of his neck. A considerable amount of fatherly advice has been dispensed over the years, but my children and I have never discussed teen dating violence. I never thought of it, but I should have considering some experiences I had in my youth.
When I was 17, my girlfriend of the same age implored me to strike her, which shocked me. We broke up after her odd request. A college girlfriend, who was 19, once told me my problem was that I was too nice and that women only respect guys who beat them.
She detailed some of her disturbingly violent relationships. But I never even considered laying a hand on a woman. The only discussion I had with Eddie was to respect women and to certainly never strike a female. I never thought about a girl potentially attacking him. The few friends I spoke to about the dilemma offered little feedback. However, I discovered that teens battering each other is prevalent. This decline begins in the mids. So, relationship violence is actually less likely among adults than among teens. I never would have guessed it, but it makes sense since children and young adults make an inordinate amount of questionable decisions before their frontal lobe is fully formed.
How many times have my kids made a poor choice behind the wheel, sending my car to the shop for body work? How often have my sons tried to shortcut an asment in school? I was taken aback when it comes to teen dating violence since my daughter Jillian never had an abusive boyfriend. I never expected that my sons would be attacked. But I learned after the assault that teenage boys are often victims of abuse. That makes sense. If women hide the shame of being battered, certainly men would even be more apt to do the same.
According to Hines, teens must talk about violence and learn about what can be done. The breadth of who can perpetrate and be victimized by relationship violence needs to be publicized and talked about more widely. Mothers and fathers can be proactive when it comes to preparing their children for teen dating.
They can advocate for healthy relationship programs and dating violence prevention programs in their schools. There are many good ones out there such as Safe Dates. Langwick and Vangie Foshee. The resources are out there for those in troubled teen relationships. When Eddie, who was 17 when he was assaulted, slipped into his downward spiral courtesy of his choices and a relationship from hell, someone had to toss him a life preserver, and I knew that duty fell onto my shoulders. Eddie was reluctant as any teen to visit a therapist to talk out his situation. But it was probably the second-best parenting decision I made with Eddie.
The crown of his head was visible, and the attending physician was literally shaking. I exited and asked for help, and another doctor made sure that Eddie entered the world. Setting a standard for your child and helping them when they need it the most is what we ed on for at the very beginning.
We lead by our actions, and hopefully when Eddie is a parent, he knows more than I did, and he can become a fine father who will direct his children through all the trials and tribulations that they will potentially experience.
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